When I was a kid, I don't remember people thinking that I was spoiled, but I do remember being overly sensitive. For example, I'd throw a fit if my mom put on my shoes and there were wrinkles in my socks. I liked things to be just so. Even my dad once told me to "unfuss myself." I guess that’s my journey, learning to accept and allow.
I want to be as transparent as I can; I'm not a highly realized person. At least for me, spiritual growth requires lots of effort and practice. I know that if I didn't engage in a daily mindfulness practice, the peace and happiness I derive from it might slowly fade and I'd turn fussy again.
Like most people, my journey to self-discovery began with a bottoming out experience. This experience was so potent that it rocked me to the core. The cliff notes version is that I was a completely self-possessed workaholic with a thriving business, a title, and a healthy income stream; basically I thought my life and identity were solid. Then, within a short time, it all disappeared. Afterwards I was depressed, scared and angry. I was forced to deal with feelings that I'd never felt before. My health deteriorated quickly and I was given medicine to cope with the intense emotions of depression and rage along with chronic pain, insomnia, restless leg and irritable bowel syndromes and I even developed an eating disorder. I was a mess.
It took me a couple of years of intense suffering to realize that the medicine wouldn't (and couldn’t) heal me. Looking back, it's clear why not. I could not stop my mind from replaying the trauma over and over. It was like being stuck in a movie theater, forced to watch the saddest, most scary and maddening film ever produced, and one where I was cast as the main character. And I had no idea how to get up and walk out.
I've always loved to read, and especially during that difficult time reading brought me comfort. My motivation was to learn how to heal my mental, physical and emotional pain. The new ideas I gleaned from books helped to broaden my perspective. With my motivation for self-care in mind, I walked into a bookstore in Flagstaff, Arizona. The psychology, self-help and spirituality sections of the bookstore called to me. It was there that I found a book that would change my life forever. In it I learned the basics of mindfulness meditation. As fate would have it, there was a website in the back of the book as well, which led me to a home study course and a teacher. That teacher was an ex-nun living in Australia. She and I corresponded for a year before I decided to "enter treatment." In July of 2003 I left my home in Tucson, Arizona and spent the next two months on retreat in the Buddhist monastery, Chenrezic, in Eudlo, Australia.
While at Chenrezig I received teachings from the most highly realized person I've ever met, Geshe Tashi Tsering. I saw that his health, peace and wisdom were the natural results of his daily spiritual practice. I reasoned that could enjoy the same if I started practicing as well. The motivation that I felt as a result of his example is still alive and working in my life to this day.
But my time in Australia was short and the traumatic memories, emotions and physical ailments still had their grip on both my mind and body. I knew that as soon as I returned home, my old triggers would be there to greet me. I knew there was a high likelihood that old unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior could reemerge. So I strongly determined to keep up with my daily mindfulness practice.
As soon as I got home I found another teacher. His name is Shinzen Young. He, like me is interested in the science of meditation so we are a good fit for each other. Shinzen is a tremendous inspiration and a major contributor of ideas and practices in my Skillfully Aware™ program.
It took a little time, and I started healing. Then, in 2004 I went back to school and got my doctorate degree. And over the next half dozen years I dug even deeper into the literature, reading all I could on meditation, neuroscience, biology, psychology, and physics. Healing was happening through me, and the joy of it inspired me even more to learn all I could to better help others heal from their chronic stress-illnessess.
Over time, my career shifted from working exclusively with people suffering physical pains to include anyone struggling with a mind-body ailment attributable to stress. As a result, I began consulting and developing programming for in-patient treatment centers. I started the first ever pain program at Sierra Tucson. While there I counseled patients suffering with more than just pain. Many of these patients had co-occurring addictions, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma and insomnia. I treated them all with my mindfulness program and it helped each one that practiced the techniques. My program evolved and soon most of the doctors and therapists at Sierra Tucson were sending their patients to consult with me.
Fast forward to the present. I left Sierra Tucson to start a private practice and to teach. I modified my mindfulness-based pain program to make the information and practices relevant to a wider audience. Skillfully Aware is the result. This evidence-based program is designed for anyone suffering from a stress-related condition—depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, insomnia, addiction, trauma, pain, eating disorder, irritable bowel, high blood pressure—of which, the list is endless. If you are self-motivated and struggling with a complicated and chronic stress-related problem, if want to decrease your dependence on medicine and want to learn new healthful practices, I’d like to offer you my assistance. If unfussed myself, you certainly can too.
I want to be as transparent as I can; I'm not a highly realized person. At least for me, spiritual growth requires lots of effort and practice. I know that if I didn't engage in a daily mindfulness practice, the peace and happiness I derive from it might slowly fade and I'd turn fussy again.
Like most people, my journey to self-discovery began with a bottoming out experience. This experience was so potent that it rocked me to the core. The cliff notes version is that I was a completely self-possessed workaholic with a thriving business, a title, and a healthy income stream; basically I thought my life and identity were solid. Then, within a short time, it all disappeared. Afterwards I was depressed, scared and angry. I was forced to deal with feelings that I'd never felt before. My health deteriorated quickly and I was given medicine to cope with the intense emotions of depression and rage along with chronic pain, insomnia, restless leg and irritable bowel syndromes and I even developed an eating disorder. I was a mess.
It took me a couple of years of intense suffering to realize that the medicine wouldn't (and couldn’t) heal me. Looking back, it's clear why not. I could not stop my mind from replaying the trauma over and over. It was like being stuck in a movie theater, forced to watch the saddest, most scary and maddening film ever produced, and one where I was cast as the main character. And I had no idea how to get up and walk out.
I've always loved to read, and especially during that difficult time reading brought me comfort. My motivation was to learn how to heal my mental, physical and emotional pain. The new ideas I gleaned from books helped to broaden my perspective. With my motivation for self-care in mind, I walked into a bookstore in Flagstaff, Arizona. The psychology, self-help and spirituality sections of the bookstore called to me. It was there that I found a book that would change my life forever. In it I learned the basics of mindfulness meditation. As fate would have it, there was a website in the back of the book as well, which led me to a home study course and a teacher. That teacher was an ex-nun living in Australia. She and I corresponded for a year before I decided to "enter treatment." In July of 2003 I left my home in Tucson, Arizona and spent the next two months on retreat in the Buddhist monastery, Chenrezic, in Eudlo, Australia.
While at Chenrezig I received teachings from the most highly realized person I've ever met, Geshe Tashi Tsering. I saw that his health, peace and wisdom were the natural results of his daily spiritual practice. I reasoned that could enjoy the same if I started practicing as well. The motivation that I felt as a result of his example is still alive and working in my life to this day.
But my time in Australia was short and the traumatic memories, emotions and physical ailments still had their grip on both my mind and body. I knew that as soon as I returned home, my old triggers would be there to greet me. I knew there was a high likelihood that old unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior could reemerge. So I strongly determined to keep up with my daily mindfulness practice.
As soon as I got home I found another teacher. His name is Shinzen Young. He, like me is interested in the science of meditation so we are a good fit for each other. Shinzen is a tremendous inspiration and a major contributor of ideas and practices in my Skillfully Aware™ program.
It took a little time, and I started healing. Then, in 2004 I went back to school and got my doctorate degree. And over the next half dozen years I dug even deeper into the literature, reading all I could on meditation, neuroscience, biology, psychology, and physics. Healing was happening through me, and the joy of it inspired me even more to learn all I could to better help others heal from their chronic stress-illnessess.
Over time, my career shifted from working exclusively with people suffering physical pains to include anyone struggling with a mind-body ailment attributable to stress. As a result, I began consulting and developing programming for in-patient treatment centers. I started the first ever pain program at Sierra Tucson. While there I counseled patients suffering with more than just pain. Many of these patients had co-occurring addictions, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma and insomnia. I treated them all with my mindfulness program and it helped each one that practiced the techniques. My program evolved and soon most of the doctors and therapists at Sierra Tucson were sending their patients to consult with me.
Fast forward to the present. I left Sierra Tucson to start a private practice and to teach. I modified my mindfulness-based pain program to make the information and practices relevant to a wider audience. Skillfully Aware is the result. This evidence-based program is designed for anyone suffering from a stress-related condition—depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, insomnia, addiction, trauma, pain, eating disorder, irritable bowel, high blood pressure—of which, the list is endless. If you are self-motivated and struggling with a complicated and chronic stress-related problem, if want to decrease your dependence on medicine and want to learn new healthful practices, I’d like to offer you my assistance. If unfussed myself, you certainly can too.
