THE POWER OF RITUALS TO MOLD YOUR LIFE

In my mind, the word “ritual” conjures religious overtones. Today, I choose to use it in a much more mundane way. Here, let ritual mean any activity you engage in that captures your attention on a daily basis. I’m talking about ingrained habits, like walking the dog in the morning, watching TV after work, reading the Huffington Post at lunch (me), or posting on FaceBook after putting the kids to bed. We all have rituals we devote precious allotments of our time to every day.

Thoughts and feelings come to reflect whatever are our cumulative preoccupations. Capturing attention as they do, rituals lead to habitual emotional states. And, emotions felt habitually, eventually grow from states into temperaments. That is how mundane rituals mold us over time.

How the power of focus can create a positive spiral in your life
How the power of focus can create a positive spiral in your life

If you want life to be better, consider examining the effects of your mundane rituals. How are you ritually prioritizing your time each day? You may discover that some rituals are not serving you. Giving yourself over to them is costing rather than adding to your life.

If you decide you’d like to replace some of your rituals with a daily meditation practice, I’d like to offer you a quick lesson on how to get started. Just click here to gain access to a free webinar that explains the basics of how to use meditation for stress relief. On the webinar page, you’ll be able to watch a video and also receive free downloadable audio meditations. These are the same meditations that come with the first month of my 13-month guided program. Enjoy them. They’ll get you started.

My mission is to help as many people start a meditation and mindfulness practice as possible. The reason, I want the world to be a better place. So, if you’ve been thinking about taking up the ritual of meditation, go for it. I assure you, you’ll gain more happiness, mental and emotional clarity, compassion for yourself and others, more creativity, confidence, grounded sensitivity, peace, a sense of purpose, deeper sleep, and a better memory. If you want to improve as a parent, to be less impulsive and reliant on medicating substances and behaviors, to develop increased tolerance for distress, then begin to practice the ritual of meditation and mindfulness. IN ALL THESE WAYS AND MORE, THIS RITUAL WILL MOLD YOUR LIFE INTO SOMETHING WORTH CELEBRATING. I’m here to support you if you’d like to get started. Please share this newsletter with anyone you want to be happy.

As always, I wish you peace, health, and happiness.

Mark

Intentional Families Thrive

Hi all,

KPutnam
Karen Putnam PhD., childhood development and parenting expert

Last week, I had the great pleasure of teaching alongside Karen Putnam PhD., a clinical psychologist who specializes in child development and parenting. We spoke to an engaged group of parents interested in implementing evidence-based strategies for promoting health and happiness within their families. Karen suggested something simple, but profound: being intentional and setting agreements for family behaviors. Simple yes, but who among us has been so proactive? As intentional as Lynda and I believe we are, we’ve not taken this step. That’s going to change! We’ve already begun to craft our own family agreements document and intend to enact it. Family harmony seems to stem from cooperation, kindness, skillful communication and emotional self-regulation. As a result, we wove these attributes into the fabric of our agreements. Our document is still a work in progress, but here’s what we have so far:

Pirtle Family Mission: to consciously wish for, and actively support, the health, happiness, growth, and success of each family member

In the spirit of this intention, we each endeavor to live by the following agreements:
1. We agree we each play a part in the well-functioning of the family
2. We agree to mindfully contribute to the well-functioning of the family, both emotionally and materially
3. We agree to give our full attention when communicating with one another
4. We agree to speak kindly and listen to each other without judgment or interruption
5. We agree to be honest with each other
6. We agree to acknowledge, accept, and tolerate the feelings of others
7. We agree to share our feelings openly, but in a respectful and kind way–we don’t dump or dramatize
8. We know we can ask for support, yet we each agree to be responsible for ourselves and our feelings
9. We agree to try to understand one another, and ask clarifying questions
10. In every way, we aim to be kind, cultivating empathy and compassion in all our relations

That’s it so far. Let me know what you think. I’m open for suggestions.

Also, for those of you who live in Tucson, Karen and I are going to teach a parenting workshop on Saturday, April 18th. Here’s a link to a flier for more information. To register, call: 520-981-9911. Given the positive response to the short talk we did last week, the workshop promises to be well-attended. Seats are limited. Hope to see you there.

If you don’t live in Tucson, but you’d like Karen and I to come to you, just contact us through the website. We’re eager to share simple techniques that may positively transform your family dynamics.

All the best,

Mark

Meditation Changes Everything

Meditation will change you, and eventually, change the world. I got support for this hypothesis from a dear friend, and super accomplished and successful business woman Cristina Burgess. She turned me onto this video of self-described “skeptical” journalist Dan Harris waxing philosophically about the many benefits of meditation. Watch it. It’s compelling.

https://www.youtube.com/user/bigthink

Mark at 48 years oldDid you watch it? If so, now’s the time to act! Go get yourself a teacher and start learning how to meditate. Your partner, spouse, kids, family, colleagues, community, nation and the world needs you to be at your best. YOU need YOU! And don’t worry, if you need support, I’m here to help. The important thing is that you get started. Let’s do this.

Wishing you health and happiness,

Mark

www.skillfullyaware.com

America’s Epidemic of PTSD and Veteran Suicide

If you’re like me, you’ve already heard that veterans coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan were suffering from PTSD. What I did not know, and what you may not have known either, was the immense scope of the problem. Approximately one quarter of all Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) members struggle with symptoms related to PTSD after leaving the service, says IAVA political director Kate O’Gorman.

A March 28th, 2014 online CNN report stated “researchers estimate that as many as 300,000 service members may meet criteria for PTSD.” Beyond these alarming numbers lies the ominous connection between PTSD and veteran suicide. I watched Rachel Maddow interview Montana Senator John Walsh on Wednesday, March 26th. Senator Walsh told Rachel that 22 veterans kill themselves by their own hand each day! This grave statistic is a tragedy beyond anything I had imagined. Very nearly every hour of every day a vet commits suicide. When I heard that figure tears welled in my eyes. I applaud Senator Walsh introducing a Senate Bill that hopes to bring needed benefits to these suffering veterans.

ABSOLUTELY-DESPICABLE-Government-Steals-Life-Insurance-Benefits-From-PTSD-Veterans-Who-Commit-Suicide

Senator Walsh’s Bill proposes to:

  • Extend special combat eligibility
  • Review wrongful discharges
  • Increase professionals in the VA
  • Improve mental health care in suicide prevention programs
  • Provide Special training for mental health care workers
  • Increase collaboration between VA and DoD
  • Establish a common drug formulary

There is a problem with a shortage of mental health care providers, especially in rural areas. But that shortage is not the only issue. Mental health care providers trained in mindfulness are more rare still. PTSD is a stress related illness. Therefore, mindfulness training is effective as a remedy beyond mere talk therapy. If you know a vet who is struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction, and/or PTSD providing him or her with a resource for mindfulness training may be another way to help.

Myths about addiction

Dr. Carl Hart, associate professor of psychology at Columbia University and the author of “High Price: A Neuroscientist’s Journey of Self-Discovery That Challenges Everything You Know About Drugs and Society,” tells the truth. Addiction is a function of multiple factors, in essence, a  problem embedded in a bio-psycho-social system. Despite everything you’ve heard, addiction is not a disease. Steve Jobs had a disease. He did everything in his power to cure it, and despite all of his efforts, it killed him. Addiction is a conditioned pattern. Meaning, it runs by itself if a person remains unconscious to the process. That’s why an addiction can last a lifetime. But addictions don’t have to. I am aware of many hundreds of cases of people who were addicted to substances and behaviors who no longer are. Have you ever known someone who has quit smoking? I’m sure you have. After quitting, do they continue to refer to themselves as a smoker? I’m sure they do not. Conditioned patterns are by definition habits. But habits are not diseases. That definition simplifies addiction too much.

feet-19176_640Solving the problem of addiction requires investigation into the multiple causative factors–poverty, the relative support one receives through relationships, family of origin dynamics, education, employment status and perceived opportunities, mental health issues, etc. As you can see, addiction is a complex problem that will only be solved through a greater awareness and amelioration of these many drivers. Everyone wants to feel better, even addicts. But sometimes, getting high seems like the best and only option. As a society, we need stop doing two things. First, we must stop over simplifying addiction by telling addicts that they have a disease. Although right intended–care givers want to communicate the seriousness of the problem–the disease explanation often gives addicts the very thing they’re looking for when life gets tough, a good excuse to act out. Second, we need to stop treating addiction as if it were an isolated problem that exists solely within the addict him or herself. Rather what we need to do is educate everyone about the true nature of addictive thinking and behavior, and then provide access to more healthy options. The research says that when people are supported they start to feel better, which then results in less medicating behavior. Addicts mostly recover by themselves when they gain a broader perspective on themselves and their life. That’s why recovery starts by helping people reconstruct happy and productive lives.

Watch the informative video and let me know your thoughts:

http://www.democracynow.org/2014/1/6/drugs_arent_the_problem_neuroscientist_carl#.UswVyNYTorQ.facebook?utm_source=Addiction%2FRecovery+eBulletin+Vol.1+No.20&utm_campaign=eBulletin+Vol1+No+20RRFF+LA&utm_medium=email

Much love,

Mark