Welcome back to our review of Gabor Mate’s Book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. I want to share a few bits from Chapter 3. Specifically, the premise that Dr. Mate puts forth that addiction is a “flight from distress.” He’s very explicit. “Far more than a quest for pleasure, chronic substance use is the addict’s attempts to escape distress.” What he’s saying is this, addicts are compelled to use substances and engage in behaviors in order to feel better. More often than not, in the background, there’s some painful circumstance or condition.
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADD and or any number of other chronic stress-related conditions push an addict to seek relief in their drug of choice or in medicating behaviors. Interestingly, Mate points out that the same brain circuits that feel physical pain are also active during experiences of emotional pain. ‘When people speak of feeling emotional pain, they are being quite accurate.’ Mate states very strongly that ‘hurt’ is at the center of all addictive behaviors.
In my next post we’ll explore the hallmarks of addiction.
For those readers who would like to go deeper, way deeper, check out the work of Eric Garland.
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If you watch it, I suggest watching it to the end. The message turns 180 degrees from how baboon culture conspires to make life a living hell for most all its members, to how, the troop can change and live more peacefullly and therefore more healthfully. The moral is this: If baboons can learn to live with more kindness and compassion, and therefore live more happily and healthfully, so can we. If you’re looking to destress and find more peace in your life, we’re publishing an online course to help you do just that. We’re calling this course True North. It becomes available this Sunday, June 1st. If you’d like more information on True North, visit this link. Wishing you health and happinesss, and the same to your troop as well.
When I was a kid, I don’t remember people thinking that I was spoiled, but I do remember being overly sensitive. If there were wrinkles in socks when my mom put on my shoes I would throw a holy fit. I’ve always liked things to be just so. I can recall my Dad even telling me to “unfuss myself.” So I guess that’s my life’s journey, learning to accept and allow.
Like a lot of people, my journey to self-discovery began with a painful “bottoming-out” experience. This experience was so potent that it rocked me to the core. The cliff notes version is that I had a thriving business, a title, and a healthy income stream; basically my life and identity seemed solid and unshakable. Then, within a very short time it all collapsed. Afterwards, I was depressed, scared, and furious! I was forced to deal with powerful emotions that I’d never felt before. As a result, my health deteriorated quickly, and I was given a fist full of pills to cope with the intense emotions and the stress-related illnesses (insomnia, depression, chronic pain, anxiety, addictions, and more) that arose in the wake of those emotions.
Then, as grace would have it, I learned to meditate, and my life began to change for the better. Meditation taught me to watch the mind-made movie. It helped me to separate myself from that drama. More importantly, I could see that “I” was not the main character in the drama. Instead, I learned to identify with the quiet still space of the mind. Like existing only as the “Space” inside “the theater.” That shift from identification with the self, to identification with the “Space,” changed everything. In Buddhism, they have a funny saying, it goes: “no self, no problem.” Jesus communicated a similar sentiment when he told his followers to “deny the self.” I’m calling it “unfussing the self.”