Living the Golden Rule Starts with Empathy…

Dr. Mark Pirtle

If we were to explore where empathy comes from, we would discover that it emerges from understanding; putting oneself in another’s shoes. I was not surprised by a new CNN/ORC poll released this week that reports more white Americans believe in the color blindness of police and the justice system than do non-white Americans. It’s disheartening given the overwhelming evidence of bias against people of color.

mark_pirtleThese data suggest that the majority of us still resist broadening our “in-group” to include others of different races and socioeconomic classes. The fact is that most of us reserve our compassion for only those like us. I wonder how this can be when other polls report the majority of people identify themselves as religious, and all of the world’s major religious traditions hold compassion at their core.

There’s a simple explanation for this contradiction. Collectively, we’ve been conditioned by a social Darwinistic dogma that pits us against each other. Ironically, those most antagonistic to Darwinian evolution in schools most embrace the survival of the fittest perspective in their social, economic and political activities. As a result, a person’s values may not align with his/her thoughts, speech, and actions.

The holidays offer us all an opportunity to reflect on this misalignment. Some may dispute this, but I believe the spirit of the holidays is about connection–renewing our spiritual connection to ourselves, our family, friends, neighbors, and more broadly all beings and the planet as a whole. There’s so much we need to fix, and we won’t be able to make progress if we keep our compassion reserved for our narrow in-group.

The challenge then for us going forward is to try to align our hearts and minds more accurately with the compassion-based teachings of our wisdom traditions. If you are one who does not claim a religion or spiritual tradition, you can participate by analyzing this fact. The enjoyments in your life are dependent on others, therefore, the happiness of others also depends on you! So let’s all do as the Dalai Lama suggests, and ‘be wisely selfish.’ Meaning, be kind and help others because it’s good for us.

Should you feel moved to take up this “compassion challenge” for 2015, may I suggest a wonderful book to help you get started: 12-Steps to a Compassionate Life, by Karen Armstrong.

Wishing you a healthy and happy holiday and New Year!

Mark

PS: If you’re interested in taking up meditation and a mindfulness practice, we’re offering a holiday discount on our 13-month program for stress relief. The program comes with a lifetime membership to our online forum. The forum is where you can ask questions, get support, interact with others, meditate with me, receive teachings and participate in retreats and more. The discount runs until midnight on December 31st. Call 520-981-9911 or email lynda@skillfullyaware.com and mention this “Peace2015” in the subject line.

How to Heal Addictions with Mindfulness–In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts (Post 1)

In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts Cover

Hi everyone. Happy Monday. I’ve been reading a fantastic book that I want to share. Indeed, as I read it I’ll spend the next month or more blogging about it. I’ll highlight the salient points and hopefully, like a book club, interest others in reading it too. And then participate in our question and answer discussions.

Gabor-Mate
Physician, Author and Public Speaker, Gabor Mate

If you’re not familiar with Gabor Mate, he’s a Canadian MD, author and speaker who has written extensively on addictions and other stress related conditions. Currently, I’m reading his #1 Canadian best seller, “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.” In it, he details the many stories of his Downtown Eastside Vancouver clinic, where he works as a physician.

Lest you think this book is solely about drug addicts and addictions, let me pop that bubble. Mate masterfully helps the reader understand the nature, scope, and destructive power of all craving, not just to drugs, but to otherwise accepted “addictions” like to work, power, possessions, and success.

Additionally, and importantly, Mate helps the reader understand the mind-body connection. Thoughts and emotions do change our brains, which then influence subsequent thoughts and emotions. After reading his book, you will understand the science behind the difficulty of changing one’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Afterwards, this scientific understanding may help engender compassion to arise, when you or someone you know struggles to change.InTheRealmOfHungryGhosts_cover

I’ll even do my best as well to get Dr. Mate to join us in our discussions, so you can ask him your questions directly. So let’s dive in and spend some time learning about the tendency for humans to fixate, and seek happiness where it cannot be found, in the realm of hungry ghosts.

 In Buddhist cosmology, the realm of hungry ghosts is occupied by beings who long for fulfillment and relief, but are never achieve it. Hungry ghosts are ostrich-like creatures with large bellies and long thin necks. Their mouths are so sensitive that they’re unable to eat or drink enough to satisfy their cravings. Additionally, whatever they do ingest, upsets their delicate constitution.

Hungry Ghost
Hungry Ghost

The hungry ghost realm therefore stands as a symbol for addictions of all kinds. Mate’s Downtown Eastside Vancouver patients live in this realm. Shortly into the book however, the reader comes to realize, that we all cycle through this realm at one time or another. The only difference between us and them is just a matter of degree.

Part 1 of the his book details the lives of patients caught in this unmerciful cyclic state. Readers also gain an deeper understanding of the motives, although sometimes irrational, that keep his addicts stuck. As many of you know, I’ve worked in rehab since 2007. I thought I’d heard and seen it all. The depth and scope of suffering of Mate’s patients surprised even me.

If you want to join in and read Mate’s book with me, get online or go to your local book seller today. I’ll be blogging about it Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s until I’m finished. There’s a lot this book can teach us about ourselves. I hope you join us.

Lastly, if you enjoyed this post and think it’s informative, please share it with your social networks on FB, Twitter, Linkedin, and others. I appreciate you helping me get the work out into the world. Thanks.

Mark Pirtle

https://www.skillfullyaware.com

More blog posts like this one:

https://www.skillfullyaware.com/blog